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KRITTERS LAWS

Law of Energy Conservation: 

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation:

 Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation:

 If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:

 Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light

Law of Random Comfort Seeking:

 A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: 

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment:

 A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption: 

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement:

 A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing: 

A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement:

 A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest:

 A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection: 

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition: 

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Law of Cat Inertia:

 A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion: 

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism:

 All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics:

 Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching:

 A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping:

 All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation: 

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction: 

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration:

 A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance: 

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. Especially when guests are present.

Law of Rug Configuration: 

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance:

 A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.


anonymous